It's Raining, It's Pouring

So adoptable and foster children really do grow on trees! Foster kids come into the system by the dozens, daily. As rights are terminated, they become adoptable.

We were finally told we were not selected for the 3 kids recently mentioned. But right before we found out, our caseworker called to explain that we had been selected for 2 other kids ages 7 and 9, boy and girl who have been in 4 homes in the last year. Yikes.

Yesterday we got word about being chosen for 2 little darlings ages 5 and 7 who are cute as pie, but pretty jacked up with bed wetting, seizures, etc. Again, Yikes.

And today learned a caseworker thinks we are a good fit for an 8 year old whose father killed her mother. "Yikes" just doesn't work for this one.

All this 'being chosen' means nothing except we are "in consideration". Apparently a caseworker can love you and think you're perfect for a particular kid(s), but a supervisor can swoop in and deliver your bundle of joy to another family. So we are being considered for all these kids and there's a good chance none of them could end up in our home.

So we are in limbo and that's an okay place to be. Things are predictable right now. Things are simple and sweet. Any day now, it could all change. Jim was saying earlier today that he feels like he is a servant waiting on the sidelines to be utilized. And we have been obedient. So, even if we aren't filled to the brim with orphans, we are waiting on the edge of the cliff ready to jump as soon as God blows the whistle. It's a scary place to be, but so very exciting and very alive.

And speaking of alive....if you're feeling numb and want to be spiritually moved to the point of physical nausea, read One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are. First chapter almost made me throw up I was so shaken.

On another note, we visited a foster/adoptive family in Godley, TX on Sunday with 20 kids. Twelve kids in their home, eight have moved out and on their own. This family was a blast to watch. It was very normal, if you can believe it. All shapes, sizes and levels were represented. The story of their daughter, Matti and how she came to live with them is something I am hoping she can share with our church soon. At age 15, she speaks to churches about God's grace and miracles and can minister to the hearts of men, women and children much older. I learned so much from meeting these people who have been a part of tremendous joy and heart wrenching sorrow yet they plow away and are knocking down doors, hallways and ceilings to try and squeeze more kids into their lives. Ask me sometime to share a few of their stories. Some hilarious and some sad, but all of them are evidence of God's grace.

I learned from this very experienced family that I will have to accept foster and/or adoptive children as they are and embrace their limitations. I learned I can endure unimaginable sorrow and still go on and continue to help kids. Because, in the end, none of this is about our family dynamics and wanting a house full of pitter pattering feet. It's about a reckless pursuit of Christ....the kind that makes people think we are a little bit crazy, a lot in over our heads, dangerously close to disaster, putting our bio-kids at risk and ill-equiped to manage it all. Right where He wants us. Right where we have to be in order to grow, the exact spot where Grace is tangible and there are enough holes ripped into our life that we can see God more clearly.